Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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