dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
