why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
