Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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