Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
