Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
