Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
