Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
