I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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