oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
