I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
