You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
