Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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