margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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