4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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