it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
