It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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