ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
