When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
