Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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