lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
