and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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