I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
