Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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