I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
