Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
