I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My vagina is officially offended.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
