Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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