So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you will always have a special place in my vag
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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