oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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