So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
