I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
