You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
