Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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