if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
