I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
