She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize