what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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