Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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