did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
