Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
