im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
