Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think people are normalizing furries
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
