Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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