I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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