I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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