Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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