I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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