my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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