Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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