i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
