i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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