If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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