she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
