One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
