My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
