I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
