My hand turned me down
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
