He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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