i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
