He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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