That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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