wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
