ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I died a long time ago.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
