No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
