He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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